17-year-old demands portion of stepsister's college fund, father refuses, family falls apart: 'My stepdaughter is not entitled to [my] daughter's money'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Feb 7, 2025 8:00 AM EST

Teenagers might not understand the ways of the world fully yet, but they should know when something is not theirs to take. Sure, it's only natural for someone in their teenage years to complain, question, and rebel. Within reason, those are all productive steps in any future adult's development as an autonomous individual. Still, there is a fine line between reasonable and unreasonable rebellion, and even the most recalcitrant 17-year-old should know when they have crossed it.

Here, we have a high school senior who learned that her stepsister had inherited a college fund from her late mother and their shared father. Somehow, this senior felt entitled to some of that money as well…

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    6279860 I Secretary of the Treasury. HUNDRED DOLLARS
    via Unsplash+ (Planet Volumes)

  • Before we begin the full tale of teenage entitlement, it's worth pointing out that this father seemed to be doing a good job parenting despite a difficult situation. He continued to honor his ex-wife's wishes after her untimely passing, fulfilling her goals of giving their daughter money for college. He also managed to raise his other daughter well alongside his current wife.

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    I am married to Ashley. Our girls from previous relationships are both 17. My ex-wife was Sam. She and I were never a great couple, but we were great friends.
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    and great parents/co-parents so we stayed very close after the divorce. I was aware she had started saving for our daughters future education. We had reached somewhat of a compromise on how to handle
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    that. I did most of the spending on her adolescent activities and extra's (so all her extra curricular activities, hobbies and for the most part gifts that we shared)
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    while she saved for the future in an effective way. I never knew how much was in the account until 2 years ago when my ex di d. It was then I learned she had saved a hefty amount and
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    that aside for allowing for her funeral expenses, she had left money for our daughter to use as she saw fit outside of the college money.
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    Ashley and I married 7 years ago and at the time we had discussed money for the girls, etc. I explained I was not saving but my ex wife was. She had not started
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    anything for her daughter at that point and her ex was not saving either. So we started to put a little by when we could. But we were never able to save huge chunks at a time.
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    After Sam di d money became a much larger issue. Ashley was upset to learn my daughter had a considerable amount more than my stepdaughter for college and that she had money "to spare". It
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    only became a bigger deal this past May. My daughter told me she had decided to do community college in her mom's home town so she could be close to her grandparents for a while, and could still follow her dreams.
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  • Somehow, the father's second wife and second daughter seemed to think that because the father's first daughter was planning to go to community college and was not going to use all of that college money on her tuition, they were entitled to the rest of the money instead. Wherever they got that idea is beyond us, and clearly it baffled the father as well. Keep scrolling below to see how he put his foot down!

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    Ashley then brought up how some of that money could go to my stepdaughter. I told her no. That it was not OUR money, and even if she tried to suggest that it would be mine seeing as my daughter is a minor, I pointed out
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    that it would be stealing to just take from her AND I had never contributed to that fund directly and it would be taking my ex wife's money.
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    Ashley went off about Sam putting so much away when she knew our daughter had a stepsister and how she was selfish to make her so much better off than her only sibling. I
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    told her she needed to get over that because Sam only had one child to think about and it wasn't her job to think about my stepdaughter or even any bio kids I could have had after our divorce.
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    Ashley told me to think about my stepdaughter. I told her my stepdaughter is not entitled to my daughters money or my ex wife's money (which ever way she wanted to look at it). She asked how I could be so callous about her daughters disadvantage. AITA?
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    FEDERAL RESERV UNITED STATES OFAME savings
    via Unsplash+ (Alexander Mills)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    heathertidwell7 NTA. Your ex wife saved it for your daughter not the stepdaughter so she's not entitled to any of it!
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    User-redit1337. NTA But your wife is an ah le. For me, this childish behavior would be a reason to break up.
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    Quiet_Warning_2... NTA Sam saved for her daughter her ONLY daughter not for a strangers kid who she had no responsibility for
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    Don't punish your daughter by taking away her college. fund that her mother set up for her just because your wife doesn't know how to make good financial decisions for her kid
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    SwordandStitchL... NTA-- But definitely explain to your daughter that it is HER money left by HER mother. It seems like she has a good idea of what she wants to do with it. Maybe
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    talk to her about financial responsibility and all of that as well. I feel like your current wife might be the type to try and guilt your daughter into giving up some of the money or "sharing".
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family drama stepmother aita family feud stepdaughter fatherdaughter family daughter entitled people Father
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